Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
Karma: +94/-1
When You Die
Dedicated Silently

What about when you die?
No one really knew you.
No one saw your heart.
You never gave anyone a chance to.

What about when you die?
If no one knew the real you.
Then no one truly loved you for you.
No one understands your point of view.

What about when you die?
Where do you leave your mark?
How can it have any value?
If no one truly knows you.

What about when you die?
No one loves you more than I do.
No one loves being by your side more.
But I can't help feeling I don't know you.

Copyright 2012 (C) Jade Elizabeth

WRITTEN: January 3rd 2012.
REVISION: Not a revision.
INSPIRATION: How I am feeling :(.



Furry Young Bunny

843 Posts
Karma: +9/-0
It's good...but I would consider redoing the second stanza and killing the rhyming because it's killing your message.



Marketing Team

6,253 Posts
Karma: +94/-1
LOL So blunt. Thanks though, I must say after re-reading today I have to agree. I rhymed by accident then felt stupid for not following it.

I'll go over it some time soon :).


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About the Author

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Membership Info
Jade Elizabeth (Bunny) is a Poet who has made 6253 posts since joining Creative Burrow on 12:15am Sun, Nov 2, 2008. Bunny was invited by No one (creator of this site).

About Bunny
Jade Elizabeth is an eccentric young woman who enjoys writing stories and poems with hidden deeper meanings. She is quoted saying “Writing to me is not a hobby. It's a passion. It's something that lets my thoughts expose themselves, and my heart shine through where other art could not.

Commonly her poems are inspired by love or depression, and are dedicated to the people who encouraged the emotion. Given the chance she will readily pull her poems apart, exposing the deeper and hidden meanings behind her words.

Her stories are usually unspoken messages to those close to her – giving every story a hidden meaning. Some things are better left unsaid, or in her case, expressed indirectly through stories.

Jade used to write Documentation for Simple Machines in her free time, but has since begun studying and working, which takes up most of her free time now.

Writing Style
Romance, Fantasy, and Sad Stories and Poems.

Other Works by this Author
Coming Soon